It's been a while! I love it when people start off new posts that way. Yep, you can see from the time stamp that I've forgotten I had a blog...but here I am! Ha!
Anyway, it's been almost a year since we moved and I feel the need to mark the occasion with a blog post. I'm not sure why, but since this has already been on my heart, I'll share it.
Moving here was not an easy decision for us. Moving meant leaving a successful practice for Justin, family, friends and a really great part-time job for me. It meant trusting that we were hearing the Lord correctly, even when there were times neither of us really felt that confident. I'm sure that you've been in a similar situation. Maybe it wasn't a physical move, but in some way or another, we've all experienced a shift or move from one thing to another, and trusting that you're hearing the Lord right instead of just looking at circumstances can get tricky in times like those; times when you're desperate to get a sign from God that you're actually following Him rather than your selfish desires.
In that vein, about two years ago we went through a very difficult and painful failed adoption. God began to work in me that day (you can read about it here if you didn't know), and honestly it was through the voice of my husband. "Rach, we can't say no just because it's too hard. We know where we draw our strength from, and at times, God will lead us into hard things. We have to know that God called us here, knows where we are, and that He's still with us. So, if we say yes, we need to be able to say yes knowing it's what God wants us to do and He's going to provide the strength we need. We can't say yes because we feel like we already have the strength; He'll provide it as we walk in His yes." Let me tell you, it was hard. It's been hard, and not just about adoption. I believe that those words apply to every yes I've laid at the feet of my Savior since then, and that it will continue to be so.
You see, saying yes to the Lord isn't always easy. But, there's a certainty in knowing that His yes always leads to His best. And, that there will be blessing in it. (And for those of you who are reading this with critical eyes, I'm calling a blessing what many would not. I'm not talking prosperity gospel here; I'm talking about His presence being the blessing, just as the disciples' did after they were beaten for speaking of Jesus. You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.) Saying Yes to the Lord means that I'm saying no to the things that I used to be (and still struggle with), knowing that He's providing sanctification for me in my 'yes' journey and that those things will be uprooted, shovel full by shovel full, every time I say yes. The 'yes'es I've laid before the Lord have always led to His glory, therefore turning the light away from who I used to be. He's uprooting it, you guys! And that's exciting! It might be that He's merely picking weeds in some seasons, but in some seasons, y'all, it feels like He's uprooting those big redwoods in California. Yes, there's a huge, gaping hole there, but He faithfully fills it with Himself! What a great trade!
I know that a 'yes' to Him means a 'no' to me, and that's where I find my hope. I can't hope in myself; I already know how broken I am! I need to find somewhere else to place my hope, my yes, and I'm so SO glad it's on the strong capable shoulders of the One that bore the cross for me.